In the Beginning
by jpenn93
Summary: He ended just as he began: in sacrifice and blood and tears. ...or: In which Jim Kirk finally connects all the dots of his life and realizes what matters most.


**IN THE BEGINNING**

It started in the beginning, as they say, and he had oh so many beginnings.

In the beginning, he was born in a sea full of stars and a sky packed full of violence and death. He lived despite fate telling him he was doomed to die as his father surrendered his life. He grew up under the shadow of a legend and the stars that had once doomed him called him their child.

In the beginning, he was a child orphaned by the cruelty of revenge and despair. His mother left him alone in her grief, called back by the desperate dream of a unity repaired. He learned never to trust in love, for anguish would surely follow and he understood the agony of desertion, for it was hollow.

In the beginning, he was confined to the harbor of pity and weight. His brother left him alone to carry the burdens of the family name. He learned that nothing was valued if something couldn't be gained and he tasted the freedom of flight and the freedom of pain.

In the beginning, he was a student craving the attention and affection he'd always been denied. His new teacher gave him love and taught him all he knew of life. He learned all there was about science and numbers and he learned how to measure the worth of a life.

In the beginning, he was a boy thrust into terror and deprivation; he gathered the children and taught himself how to survive. He saw that people were small but a unit was strong, and he hoped against hope that he could lead them along. He learned how it felt to carry the weight of the dead, and he'd never forget the fear in a dying man's eyes.

In the beginning, he was drifting between loss and confusion and he buried the suffering under a mask of false bravado. He met a man who walked with unshakable faith and he gained a friend who taught him the meaning of being brave. He learned how stand up for his convictions and that nothing was hopeless if he didn't believe in restrictions.

In the beginning, he was daring and defiant and sought to tear down the walls of glaring contradictions. He pushed beyond reason speaking of logic, and he proved they were wrong. He learned the cost of avoidance and shame and he learned that victory was never a single man's claim.

In the beginning, he was standing tall and smiling with pride but he hid the vastness of sorrow he felt inside. He walked on a stage when they called his name, a medal was pinned to his chest and home was what he gained. He learned the cost of victory and the cost of becoming a legend.

In the beginning, he was continuing to master his trade while he tried to live up to his name. He stood by his convictions and walked with unshakable faith and he saved a life and a planet on the same day. His convictions lost him his home and he argued against it, but argued alone.

In the beginning, he was hurt and dismayed; he went to drown out the sorrow his convictions had paid. He lost another father but gained back his home and his heart filled with anger in place of the peace he had known.

In the beginning, he was searching and desperate and he wanted nothing more than to dish out what he felt was deserved. He was reminded of his fathers and their shared convictions, so he locked up his anger and brought a criminal home.

In the end, his doom had been written in those stars that long ago defied fate and called him their own. His ending wasn't filled with pity or fear or shame, he'd already fought through it all and built a legacy into the family name. He ended knowing that he'd learned his lessons and taught some of his own; he was content with his life and what he called home.

In the beginning, he woke weary and tired with a smile on his face. He was surrounded by the ones he loved, the family who made up his home. He learned that beginnings were precious things and endings were usually final, but he also learned that neither of them truly mattered. From his beginnings and his end, he learned the most important lesson of them all: that how he connected his beginnings and end was what truly made life worthwhile.


End file.
